I haven't felt like this since last Fall. I hate that I can feel this way again. I feel worthless. Meaningless. I don't mean anything to anyone except as a funny girl to laugh at. I follow my dream and get kicked in the ass because of it. I'm so tired of being told again and again that I'm not good enough.

We were never needed in the Sisterhood. And boy, has it been proven to me today. I would like nothing more than to just leave for a little while. It really bothers me that the cons of being in TBS have far outweighed the pros. Once again, I am thinking my life would be better if I had never pledged. I hope this will pass, but seriously. I won't get any positions next year with no experience, especially after going abroad. I feel like the sisters are punishing me for going away. Haven't you punished us enough? Does it make you feel good to break me again and again?

I just keep learning that it's better to be cynical and apathetic. Then I won't get hurt. I'm so passionate about what I do and I always, ALWAYS end up getting hurt. What's the point anymore? I have yet to be proven wrong. And it's not just that I didn't get the position I wanted. It's that on top of everything else. I know this sounds shitty and immature, but I haven't had a guy like me since I was sixteen years old. I have gained weight this semester. I'm not in any honor societies. I don't have an internship. I'm not doing anything with my life. Just wasting away in a worthless major trying to make people like me by being ridiculous.

Please, help me. I can't fall into this hole again. I've been okay for the past few months and now it's all gone to shit.

I'm deleting my quotes on facebook, but I wanted to preserve them here!
"Want to play extreme homo tennis for Wii?"
"FUCK YEAH!"

"Are you gonna rape me then kill me? Is that what you said?"
"Is that a dare?!"

"After this black and mild wanna go do a jagerbomb with me?"

"Can you make me a strawberry shake?"-Franklin
"How about a vanilla shake?"-Klem, accompanied with a full body shake.

"Sit the fuck down or I'm going to break your face."

Q:"If you could be any candy, what would you be?"
A:"A Reeses Cup. Cause there's no wrong way to eat a Reeses!"

Liz: Franklin, what opera where you in again?
Franklin: Dido and aeneas and riders to the sea
Merl: You were in an opera about dildos? Gay.
Franklin: Yeah I thought it was weird that the main character happened to be your mom. Apparently she has a weird obsession with dildos and anuses.


Liz14bth (11:40:30 PM): I may have told you this story but in 2nd grade reed hollinger wanted to marry me and chased me around every day to get the fake princess jasmine jewel off of my backpack and one time made me cry cause he asked me to rollerblade with him in front of my dad. the end.

Franklin, via text: I'll be there in like an hour
Merl, in response: You should probably try some lotion if it takes you that long to jerk it.

I just watched The Boondock Saints. It is SUCH a good movie. I'm sorry I haven't seen it until now. All of my favorite movies are all really violent. That's bad, right? Seriously, let's have a look:
-Boondock Saints
-Kill Bill 1 & 2
-The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
-The Star Wars Saga
-Pulp Fiction
-Reservoir Dogs
-X-Men

I'm such a dude.